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The Best of Tumblr Porn

Sex educators, writers and porn stars share their favorite adult Tumblrs.
 
 
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Earlier this week, in light of worries that Yahoo’s purchase of Tumblr would mean an end to porn on the micro-blogging platform, I reviewed its most popular adult blogs. I slogged through hours of explicit material —  all for you. But then, the sophisticated porn-oisseurs among you were like: Who needs this plebe porn? Show us the best!

Alright, I hear you. But there is only so much of the Internet — even the pornographic Tumblr Internet — that one woman can cover, so I called in some expert help from porn stars, journalists and sexperts. The result is a wildly eclectic bunch of blogs featuring everything from porn superstar Stoya to the indifferent cats of amateur porn. There is something in here for everyone — even if you don’t consider yourself a pornophile.

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Art or Porn: You Decide

Because of its “unique twist,” sexpert  Emily Morse (she of  Bravo TV fame) suggests this Tumblr. “You get to look at beautifully composed photographs that can also be considered pornographic,” says Morse. “The photographs titillate and tell a story. It’s up to you to decide whether you’re enjoying porn or art.”

Lady Cheeky

This blog brands itself as “a curated sensual images site that focuses on sensuality, positive body image, sexual pleasure and beautiful photos depicting desire and passion.” Its tagline: “smart is sexy.”  Michael Thomsen, a sex writer, recommends it because of “the looping GIFs of isolated gestures during sex,” he says, “like a stroke of the hand just playing into infinity, or else like pulling down someone’s underwear while their hips rise in anticipation.” It’s this “pretty straightforward, vanilla stuff that often gets rushed over in long-form porn but [which] captures a little more honest and relatable part of sex than just fuck videos,” he says. That’s the magic of GIFs, Thomsen argues: “[They're] the perfect format for getting around the paradox of needing sex on film to be maximally visual, which also makes it maximally unnatural and mechanistic.”

Underwear Tuesday

Here’s another recommendation from Thomsen: “I also have a soft spot for Underwear Tuesday since they show more normal people and not super-human porn bodies,” he says. “I think that’s, in a way, even more appealing, though I don’t get turned on at all looking at their pictures.” He says “it captures a real basic comfort that comes with along with sex in the lazy, not-super-heated moments of just being naked with someone and not having anywhere to go or any specific agenda to follow.”

Ugly Ugly Emptiness

I’ll leave the description to  Conner Habib, a porn performer and writer who says it’s one of his favorites: “Right now, a quick scroll reveals a really sexy picture of Joss Hutcherson wearing a shirt that says ‘I fuck boys who fuck girls,’ homoerotic renaissance paintings, vintage gay porn, photos of guys playing sports with too-tight shorts and more.” He explains that he loves it for “its eclectic choices and its bizarre diversions from porn.” Also, he adds, “Whoever curates this Tumblr gets that porn is a lot of things, not just explicitly sexual imagery.”

BijouWorld

This blog, named after the 1972 gay porn film “Bijou,” is another of Habib’s favorites. ”It’s all vintage porn, featuring the typical-but-still-erotic washed-out colors and grainy quality photos,” he says. “No matter how good Instagram filters get, they’ll never quite evoke the feeling of truly vintage photos.”

Stuff in My Vagina

It’s exactly what it sounds like: an X-rated version of  Stuff On My Cat. It features photos of various items — a carnival light, gold coin, plastic mouse, can of cat food, asthma inhaler — inserted into a woman’s vagina. There is some cheating — one photo shows a beer bottle clearly inserted into a  different orifice — but the fans seem to care more about ingenuity than anatomical specificity.

 
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